Leila Bachelon is…
the nom de plume of a mother, wife, writer, blogger, recovering depressive, biracial lunatic with a potty mouth, who loves fitness, healthy eating (with cookies and potato chips), writing, my kids, my husband, and a good glass of wine or a dark beer from time to time. Sometimes I feel like there’s about 5 or 6 different people with completely different interests and supposedly contrasting beliefs – for instance, in addition to everything I just said, I’m deeply spiritual, practice yoga and meditation, and believe that this life is just one step of many to…something we’d be hard-pressed to define. It’s hard to paragraph all the crap I do/believe/am, so here are some bullet points to make it easier to sift through the madness in my head:
- I have 2 children. They are known here as Punksin (the girl, currently 6 1/2) and Pudding (the boy currently 3). If you’re so curious about the reasons behind those names that you’re staying awake at night, email me and I’ll tell you how they came about.
- I’d kill anyone who messes with my kids. Do not fuck with my kids. (Trust me, I’m probably fucking with them enough for all of us.)
- I homeschool my kids.
- Sometimes, my kids homeschool me.
- My husband is awesome. To put up with me, he must have the patience of Job. Seriously? I don’t know how he does it. I am not easy. I wouldn’t marry me. Sleep with me, sure, but marry me? Too much work!
- Having said that, though, I think marriage licenses should be renewable, like drivers’ licenses.
- I’m a Sagittarian, and I bet you can find other Sagittarians who feel the same way about marriage licenses.
- I started blogging in 2006. I stopped blogging about a year later because of severe depression.
- When I say severe, I mean life-threatening. Draw your own conclusions.
- I started blogging seriously again this year (2010). I will not succumb to this bullshit.
- Five things are keeping me out of the Dark Place: meditation, therapy, working out, prayer and writing.
- If I meet you, we should have drinks. I have problems, but alcoholism isn’t one. (Although I can come pretty close.)
- I love sports. I used to love the Yankees but my interest has waned in inverse proportion to the rising prices of a ticket, which make it near impossible to actually attend a fucking game unless one is a celebrity or the CEO of some company that is probably being mismanaged to hell.
- I love mysteries, and I would love to write one, but I always think I’d either make it too complex and write myself into a corner, or I’d make it so simple that you’d know from page one who did it.
- With the exception of The Amazing Race, I absolutely detest reality TV. There is nothing real about it.
- The Situation? Really? Famous for lifting a shirt all the time and pointing to himself with a smirk? This is what passes for entertainment in America. We are really dumb.
- My musical tastes are all over the map: I love the Rolling Stones, the Eagles, the Beatles, Marvin Gaye, Zero 7, Rodrigo y Gabriela, Snowboy, Sting, Lisa Shaw, Samantha James, Tchaikovsky, Rachmaninoff…you do not want me to continue this list. It never ends.
- I am about to become a DIY diva. If you saw my house you’d know why.
- I still believe in Santa Claus.
- And unicorns.
- And mermaids.
- And dragons.
- Seriously.
- Yes, seriously.
- No, really! Stop asking already!
- No, I’m not drunk as I write this. (Some of the other posts, sure, but not this one.)
- Sometimes I think I would like another child. Then I wake up.
- Really, I would have another one, but I’m 40, so unless I win Lotto and can sit on my ass for the entire pregnancy, not going to happen.
- I believe in reincarnation.
- I belong to the good old C of E. Don’t think the reincarnation thing would go over well with them, though. My beliefs encompass quite a few world religions, so I’m starting to think of myself as more spiritual than religious.
- I LOVE anything British.
- Including tea, which is my drink of choice. If I’m drinking coffee, you know I went to bed really late.
- My dad was German. My mom is from Barbados. I grew up in NYC which is really an amazing place that I’ve come to appreciate even more since having kids.
- I hate the cold. When fall comes, I have to be particularly vigilant about falling back into depression. So as much as I love NYC, I would really like to move to Miami and just come back north in the spring and summer. Working on it.
- I named my depression to make it easier for me to confront it. He’s a beast and his name is Claude.
- Sometimes I secretly wonder if I’m dead and just don’t know it, like Bruce Willis in Sixth Sense.
- I have never smoked pot or done any drugs. It was always about the drinks with me.
- I love sci-fi and action flicks. Also martial arts but good martial arts movies. If I want a sad movie, I’ll just go over my life in my head, thank you. As for romances, they just outright bore me. I do believe in romance completely and absolutely but I’ll leave the movies alone, thanks. I love comedies but I’m more Old School than How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days.
- When I die, I want to be cremated and spread over the Caribbean Sea. Someone please remind my husband if he forgets so I don’t have to come back and haunt him.
- I changed my mind about the cremation thing. I want to be wrapped in a shroud and returned to the sea and the mermaids (which is the nice way of saying dump my body overboard). Just do it way way out…I don’t need to drift ashore and scare any kids.
- I am completely scared of baby corn. Do NOT ask me why, I have no idea, but that shit frightens me. For reals.
- I hate peanut butter. The mere smell of it makes me want to vomit.
- I love Star Trek. And Stargate. And stars! Yeah, the real ones in the sky, love those too.
- I have a feeling I am at a phase in my life where I am about to start doing some crazy shit. Midlife crisis? Maybe!
- I love my high school: Stuyvesant High School in NYC. Loved it more than college, frankly.
- Oh, last one, I can’t believe I almost forgot! I am fucking awesome.
One Response to “Leila Bachelon is…”
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I googled “mommy needs a mental vacation” after having a really sh*tay morning and I stumbled across your page. I have laughed at some of your thoughts as well as feeling other emotions, because I totally freaking relate to alot of what you say. You rock and thank you for uplifting my spirit!