Life is Like a Rollercoaster, Not a Freaking Box of Chocolates
February 6th, 2012
At least…my life is. Somewhat. I have highs… And then I have lows. Unfortunately for me, my lows are pretty effing low. I mean, dig down 6 feet into the ground low. My aunt recently had a birthday party, and I was all gung-ho to help her celebrate but then when the party actually happened… [...]
The Stealth Ninja Gets Taken Out by Ducks
February 2nd, 2012
It’s 2:00 in the morning. What the hell am I doing up? I fell asleep with the kids around 9:00. Passed right the hell out. When I woke up, it was after 1:00 and the room was pitch black. So I picked up my iPhone and saw a message from the Tech Guru asking “R [...]
The Org Chart
January 8th, 2012
So then the Tech Guru reads the last post, and he starts murmuring, I didn’t think you had to go there. HE JUST CANNOT SHUT UP. He’s about to get fired. Let me make this very clear: I AM THE WRITER. I WRITE WHAT I WANT, WHEN I WANT. If I want to BEAT SOMETHING [...]
More Ewok Porn, Except Not Really, And Maybe Worse
January 8th, 2012
Okay, so what does the Tech Guru do except GO AND SHOW ALL THE GEEK SQUAD WHAT I WROTE. Which I totally don’t think was a good idea, because now they’re going to be all like, why were you sitting there letting us talk about stupid shit like Ewok Porn when your wife was sitting [...]
Annoying Thing #1 and Ewok Porn
January 6th, 2012
I’ve decided I’m going to post about things that annoy me. Just in case you didn’t figure that out from the title. No, I’m not trying to be negative or anything. At least, that’s not my intent right now. Not all of it is going to be things that piss me off. Things that piss [...]
So What Does This Sound Like to YOU?
December 6th, 2011
So this conversation happened in our house the other day: Tech Guru: Where are my balls? Punksin: I don’t know. Tech Guru: You guys keep playing with my balls. Punksin: The last time I remembered you with them, you were putting them in my hand while I was asleep and that’s how you woke me [...]
In Which I Explain Why The Tech Guru Calls Me ‘Hooker’ and I Call Him ‘Motherfucker’
November 23rd, 2011
Be forewarned: it’s really not that exciting. I don’t know if I should even tell you. I’m sure it’s a lot more titillating for you to think that we yell these out at each other when we’re having raw, crazy, baboon-style sex. (FYI, I don’t really know anything about baboons and their sex lives. It just [...]
The Cure for What Ails You
November 19th, 2011
You ever had a really shitty day? Of course you have. If you haven’t, I don’t even know how you could relate to ANYTHING I say on here. I’ve been having a shitty few weeks. Medical issues. Relationship issues. Kiddie issues! Mommy issues – as in, MY mommy, not me BEING a mommy. (That would [...]
The Pendulum Swings From Side to Side
November 15th, 2011
You know my secret theory…the one where I think my kids are planning to have me committed and doing their best to get me there. (And honestly, it’s not going to take much.) This morning, Pudding decided to add his 2 cents. He asks ME, for a corn muffin. I do not go to get [...]
Football for Dummies
November 8th, 2011
So tonight, I am watching football. The Eagles are playing Monday Night Football. (In case you didn’t know, the Eagles are the football team you must support in order to live in this house.) Now, I am relatively new to the sport. Until I met the Tech Guru some, what, 14 years ago, I didn’t [...]
