What Dreams May Come

A few days ago I was walking around in my house and a memory came back to me with such swiftness and ferocity that I literally stumbled. The funny thing is, it’s not that this was my first time remembering this old dream. It was just my first time actually connecting it with reality. The […]

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Blood Red

I have way too much nail polish. As with most things, I don’t just get a few. I get…LOTS. I swear, I have over 100. At least. Yesterday, I painted my nails blood red. Not the bright crisp, cheerful, almost blinding red that I usually prefer, the one that I associate with my mother’s well-manicured […]

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Mother’s Day

Okay, so it’s Mother’s Day. Those of you who have been along for the ride for a bit know that this day is fraught with anxiety for me. Not because I AM a mom, but because I am WITHOUT a mom. And you know that she’s not dead, or somewhere in a nursing home eating […]

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Feeling Groovy

Okay so it’s been a little over a month. Shoot me. It’s been busy…but very GOOD busy. I’m keeping this one quick and dirty. First of all, I started working out. Not sporadic bullshit. Not paying a gym membership fees when I never go. Not reading the magazines while never doing the workouts. SERIOUSLY WORKING […]

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Life is Like a Rollercoaster, Not a Freaking Box of Chocolates

At least…my life is. Somewhat. I have highs… And then I have lows. Unfortunately for me, my lows are pretty effing low. I mean, dig down 6 feet into the ground low. My aunt recently had a birthday party, and I was all gung-ho to help her celebrate but then when the party actually happened… […]

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Songs From My Past: What’s Going On

Today is my mom’s birthday. We rarely speak anymore; her depression is hostile and cold and after cutting me off completely 4 years ago we only recently regained a contact that is still strained and superficial.  Still…she is my mother. I feel her influence every single day.  I’m a Yankee fan because of my mom.  […]

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Lies and Fumbles

A few days ago, Punksin mentioned something along the lines of never meeting her grandmother (my mother).   I told her that she had indeed met her, right after she was born, but that she hasn’t seen her since. Of course she wanted to know why she hasn’t seen her since.  I don’t even remember the […]

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