CODE RED! CODE RED! CODE RED!!!
WE INTERRUPT THE REGULARLY SCHEDULED PROGRAM FOR THE FOLLOWING ANNOUNCEMENT: I CANNOT FIND MY FUCKING ANXIETY MEDICATION. CODE RED! REPEAT: CODE - FUCKING – RED!!!! I had a bottle of Ativan that I carried in my bag so that if anxiety hit me while I was out and about, I would have it readily available. [...]
The Year of Making Shit Happen
So it’s 2012! Hello there, New Year, how the hell ARE you? Me, I’m fine. A tad woozy from meds but as you will soon learn, that’s not so abnormal. These meds are not behavioral meds, though, no, these are cough and congestion meds to clear up the mucus that LOVES to collect in my [...]
Ciao, 2011!
We just had a lovely dinner – linguine with smoked salmon, peas and dill in a cream sauce. Cooked by…moi. I love to cook, but every now and then I go through phases where I just get BORED with cooking food. I’ve been in a rather LONG one of those phases…ha ha. But tonight’s dinner [...]
The Importance of Unimportance
So, that’s it. 2011 is pretty much done. I can’t say I’m sad to see it go…but honestly, looking back at it, I don’t feel this overwhelming sense of relief that it’s over either. I mean, it had its ups and downs, for sure, but…that’s life. There have been some years that I couldn’t wait [...]
Mr. Blackwell Lives Here
I am not so much into stockings. Last winter, I got into thigh-high socks. I wanted to keep my legs warm, but somehow the tight-nylons-hugging-the-crotch thing seemed constricting. So I got into socks. I mean, it wasn’t like I was wearing dresses that much. Not in winter. But a few days ago I decided to [...]
Rebuilding the Zen Palace
Yeah, it’s been a few days, huh? I’ve been licking my proverbial wounds, and when that happens, I tend to retreat into silence and introspection. Which is sometimes a good thing, and sometimes not. I’ve been dealing with rejection, a recurring theme – coming to grips with the fact that people that I wanted so [...]
So What Does This Sound Like to YOU?
So this conversation happened in our house the other day: Tech Guru: Where are my balls? Punksin: I don’t know. Tech Guru: You guys keep playing with my balls. Punksin: The last time I remembered you with them, you were putting them in my hand while I was asleep and that’s how you woke me [...]
In Which I Explain Why The Tech Guru Calls Me ‘Hooker’ and I Call Him ‘Motherfucker’
Be forewarned: it’s really not that exciting. I don’t know if I should even tell you. I’m sure it’s a lot more titillating for you to think that we yell these out at each other when we’re having raw, crazy, baboon-style sex. (FYI, I don’t really know anything about baboons and their sex lives. It just [...]
My Next BFF Is Going to Be a Guinea Pig
So we might be getting guinea pigs. Let me be VERY CLEAR on this…we MIGHT. I said MIGHT. The kids want a pet. I want a dog and so do the kids, but I’m also very aware of the fact that taking care of that dog is going to fall mainly on my shoulders, and [...]
We Did Not Get the Memo on Child Labor
Today we are out driving on useless important errands, and we pass a farm that is already set up with Christmas trees. CHRISTMAS TREES, PEOPLE! It is not even THANKSGIVING. It is not even MY BIRTHDAY. (My birthday is in November, in case you didn’t know, and is treated as a national holiday in this house for [...]
