RunMotherf#&^erRunRainpocalypse Part 2

Well, it’s sort of part 1. I mean, nothing has really happened yet. I went out this morning to grab some milk because I NEED MILK FOR MY TEA. That is NOT NEGOTIABLE. There was already a fairly large branch downed in the driveway. I threw that sucker down the hill, got in my birthday […]

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RunMotherF&#%erRunRainpocalypse, AKA Hurricane Sandy

I so wish I could take credit for that awesome name for Hurricane Sandy but the truth is, a friend of mine from high school came up with it and I found it MUCH more hilarious than Frankenstorm. I mean, I get the Halloween reference but it’s rather…lame. So, here I am, on the cusp […]

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Here Kitty Kitty Kitty

The downstairs bathroom smells like cat pee. Under any circumstances this would be considered unacceptable behavior from a bathroom, but in this instance it’s all the more amazing because of the fact that we don’t HAVE A FUCKING CAT. I cannot for the life of me understand where this odd odor is coming from. As […]

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A Tree Grows in Brooklyn,
But Crashes in New Jersey

So I’ve been so busy with my gorgeous and fantabulous sister, who came in from LA for the weekend, and my depression, who also decided to FLY IN FROM HELL, that I forgot to continue the saga of the story where A TREE FELL ON MY FUCKING HOUSE.   Yes. It was awesome. And by awesome […]

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But Crashes in New Jersey

What Happens When You Ask for Excitement

So apparently, there’s such a thing as Too Much Excitement. Or Excitement of the Wrong Kind. Who knew? Today’s excitement consisted of a tree falling on my house. Right plop down in front of the front door, where the kids and I had been standing examining some bamboo we planted not 15 minutes earlier. And […]

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Renovations Up the Wazoo

Jeez, I can’t even begin to tell you how much I need to get done around here. No, this is not apropos of the recent argument. This has everything to do with me being bored with the way things are looking around here. When we first moved in, I was all in my British Colonial […]

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CODE RED! CODE RED! CODE RED!!!

WE INTERRUPT THE REGULARLY SCHEDULED PROGRAM FOR THE FOLLOWING ANNOUNCEMENT: I CANNOT FIND MY FUCKING ANXIETY MEDICATION. CODE RED! REPEAT: CODE  – FUCKING – RED!!!! I had a bottle of Ativan that I carried in my bag so that if anxiety hit me while I was out and about, I would have it readily available. […]

Posted in The House, The Mind, The Rants | 2 Comments »

I Am Alive…I Think

Hey, you! Have you been looking for me? At least pretend you were. Jeez, give my ego a boost. So what has happened in the last almost 2 months? Um… Lots of funny shit with the kids, that’s for sure. I mean, they are a HOOT. Punksin passed her swimming level and is now in […]

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