I Wasn’t Lying, Seriously…
May 17th, 2012
…when I said I was taking a hiatus from writing here. Seriously. But I just HAD to come and tell you: PUDDING PASSED LEVEL 1 SWIMMING! What a freaking relief. And so much for that “pep talk” from the Tech Guru. “You’re gonna fail son. Just fuck it.” Okay, so that’s not EXACTLY how it [...]
To Swim or Not to Swim
May 13th, 2012
So of course you remember that Pudding did not pass his Level 1 swim class and is currently in Level 1 again. The Tech Guru has been taking him in for family swim time on weekends in the hopes of helping him to improve. Yesterday they came in, and as Pudding happily went to divest [...]
Mother’s Day
May 13th, 2012
Okay, so it’s Mother’s Day. Those of you who have been along for the ride for a bit know that this day is fraught with anxiety for me. Not because I AM a mom, but because I am WITHOUT a mom. And you know that she’s not dead, or somewhere in a nursing home eating [...]
Swimming and the Art of Excellence
April 25th, 2012
So I’m at the swim club with Punksin and Pudding yesterday. What was once an hour-long event has turned into about THREE hours, thanks to Punksin making it onto the swim team. She started her Level 5 class last week Tuesday. The teacher, who had been her teacher in Level 3, told her once again [...]
Feeling Groovy
April 12th, 2012
Okay so it’s been a little over a month. Shoot me. It’s been busy…but very GOOD busy. I’m keeping this one quick and dirty. First of all, I started working out. Not sporadic bullshit. Not paying a gym membership fees when I never go. Not reading the magazines while never doing the workouts. SERIOUSLY WORKING [...]
Okay, So We Had Immigrants in the Basement and Now They’re In Jail
March 8th, 2012
I forgot to tell you about them, didn’t I? Yes, two days before Christmas we had two immigrants in our basement. We had to hide them there so the kids wouldn’t know until Christmas and it was touch and go for a while there. I kept running into the basement under the guise of doing [...]
Torture Tactics of a Four-Year Old Ninja
March 3rd, 2012
A few days back I’m fucking around doing some serious work on the computer. Pudding comes up to me and asks me, “Can I have a raisin crisp?” “I’m busy right now, sweetie – give me a minute.” Five minutes go by. “Mom. Can I have a raisin crisp?” “Now that I think of it, didn’t you [...]
A Third Munchkin
February 13th, 2012
Yesterday the kids were taking their swimming lessons at the Boys & Girls Club. I got them in lessons at the same time, and it’s awesome: Pudding is on the shallow end of the pool learning how to swim while Punksin is on the other deep end refining her breaststroke and learning to dive. I [...]
Are You WITH ME?
February 3rd, 2012
I have decided that this year, I am doing Rebel Race. It is a 5K, but it is not your average 5K. Not by a long shot. There are mud swamps, and tunnels to run through, and barbed wire – all in all, about 21 military-style obstacles to overcome, at the end of which you [...]
The Stealth Ninja Gets Taken Out by Ducks
February 2nd, 2012
It’s 2:00 in the morning. What the hell am I doing up? I fell asleep with the kids around 9:00. Passed right the hell out. When I woke up, it was after 1:00 and the room was pitch black. So I picked up my iPhone and saw a message from the Tech Guru asking “R [...]
