It’s A Shitty Day in the Neighborhood
March 6th, 2012
It’s 9:10 p.m. In a little under 3 hours this day will be over, and BOY WILL I BE GLAD. It hasn’t been a horrible day. Nothing completely awful and terrible happened. My life did not drastically change for the worse. So, I suppose I shouldn’t complain. But, fuck it, I’m going to ANYHOW. It [...]
Torture Tactics of a Four-Year Old Ninja
March 3rd, 2012
A few days back I’m fucking around doing some serious work on the computer. Pudding comes up to me and asks me, “Can I have a raisin crisp?” “I’m busy right now, sweetie – give me a minute.” Five minutes go by. “Mom. Can I have a raisin crisp?” “Now that I think of it, didn’t you [...]
To Vajazz or Not to Vajazz, That Is the Question
February 16th, 2012
So…vajazzing. Let’s talk about it. I’ve been thinking about doing it. Mainly because I’d like to see if there’s really any point. It LOOKS nice…but…then what? If you are clueless as to what vajazzing is, it’s when a woman gets waxed down there and then puts some design down there in Swarovski crystals or some [...]
The Art of Being Unprepared and How It Can Actually Help Your Writing
February 14th, 2012
Sometimes I feel like a total douchebag. Like tonight. Tonight, I took Punksin to her Girl Scout meeting. Pudding wanted to go to and I had said he could go, mainly because the plan was to surprise Punksin during the meeting with some cupcakes to celebrate her birthday, which is coming up. This whole fabulous [...]
A Third Munchkin
February 13th, 2012
Yesterday the kids were taking their swimming lessons at the Boys & Girls Club. I got them in lessons at the same time, and it’s awesome: Pudding is on the shallow end of the pool learning how to swim while Punksin is on the other deep end refining her breaststroke and learning to dive. I [...]
Life is Like A Rollercoaster Part 2
February 7th, 2012
Of course, when I say Part 2, that means there’s a Part 1. If you haven’t read it yet, then you should start here. Yes. Stop being lazy, and go read it. Okay, you’re back or you read it already. I had a little more to say. That usually happens, in case you didn’t notice. [...]
Life is Like a Rollercoaster, Not a Freaking Box of Chocolates
February 6th, 2012
At least…my life is. Somewhat. I have highs… And then I have lows. Unfortunately for me, my lows are pretty effing low. I mean, dig down 6 feet into the ground low. My aunt recently had a birthday party, and I was all gung-ho to help her celebrate but then when the party actually happened… [...]
Are You WITH ME?
February 3rd, 2012
I have decided that this year, I am doing Rebel Race. It is a 5K, but it is not your average 5K. Not by a long shot. There are mud swamps, and tunnels to run through, and barbed wire – all in all, about 21 military-style obstacles to overcome, at the end of which you [...]
The Stealth Ninja Gets Taken Out by Ducks
February 2nd, 2012
It’s 2:00 in the morning. What the hell am I doing up? I fell asleep with the kids around 9:00. Passed right the hell out. When I woke up, it was after 1:00 and the room was pitch black. So I picked up my iPhone and saw a message from the Tech Guru asking “R [...]
Delusions of Grandeur
January 10th, 2012
One of my great-grandfathers used to talk about people who walked around with “delusions of grandeur,” this idea of their own overwhelming importance. I would say that definitely has to apply with Beyonce and Jay-Z, given all I’ve heard about the prep that went into the arrival of their baby. I mean, they have lots [...]
