My Life in Bullet Points

I know, I know. It’s been a long while.

Which is why I’m reduced to updating you in bullet points, cuz frankly I don’t have the time to type all that shit. Plus, I can’t even remember all of it. Mostly that last part.

Here, in no chronological order whatsoever, is my life over the past few months:

  • I’m back on lexapro. I may have told you that already. Doc thinks I may need it for the rest of my life. I’m not necessarily buying into that, but I’m not fighting it either. My motto is, do whatever the fuck I need to do to get thru each day, one day at a time.
  • I’m also sick and I’m not getting into it but although the prognosis is good for me to get better it’s going to be a long haul – at least a year. Hence the one day at a time idea. I have good days, and I have bad days, but I’m still waking up in the morning and that’s what counts. I’m mostly tired a lot, and its a bad thing when you want to take your kids to the zoo but you don’t have the energy and then you think to yourself, you know, I could actually do this if I just had a wheelchair and didn’t have to fucking WALK. Seriously, that’s how my energy level is. It’s…not a good thing. But I’m hoping it will improve and I can actually go the zoo and other walk-around kind of places…without a wheelchair.
  • The book…it slowed down. Okay, it came to a screeching halt. Mostly because by the time nighttime rolls around, which is when I usually tackle that shit, I’m tired as fuck. But…it’s there, and it’s brewing, and I need to get back on it, even if it’s 15 minutes a night, so that I have SOME fucking legacy of writing besides this goddamn blog.
  • Punksin has had a kick-ass summer in swimming. We found a summer team for her and they sucked ass but it served its purpose, which was to keep in the water so she wouldn’t get out of practice. She had a really good run – something like 11 ribbons and 3 medals? I think it was really a boost for her confidence level and we’ve seen her strength improve as well. She still has some technique stuff to work on and she’s been doing private lessons for that since the summer season ended, so we’re all really looking forward to the coming season back with her regular team and looking for some silver times.
  • Pudding – my poor little Pudding. He tried out for the team and didn’t make it on. This broke my heart because as you know, he’s had quite a few disappointments with swimming. Honestly, I don’t think he was really ready and then the day of the damn tryouts he had an asthma attack but he insisted on going and…I had to let him. The coach was really encouraging though and said she can see how hard he has worked and she doesn’t want to put him on the team and have him get discouraged, she wants to wait until he’s really ready enough to excel. And I agree. So, although he’s going to continue lessons, we’re also trying to find him other activities, things that his sister is NOT doing, that he can have fun with and call his own. One of those things is Parkour, which he LOVES. If you don’t know what that is, click on the link, cuz seriously, I CAN’T DO EVERYTHING FOR YOU FUCKING PEOPLE. But suffice it to say it is definitely something he does around the house, much to my dismay, and having him do it in a safe environment would be awesome.
  • Wolfie is big. He still has one testicle. It needs to come off quickly. We did find another doctor, another practice altogether, that I’m MUCH happier with, so we’ll see if we can do the one testicle now/one later thing or what.
  • There’s other shit, I’m sure, but…can I remember it now? Of course not. That’s part of my sickness too, I think. It’ll come back to me. Right now, I remember the important stuff: my name, my kids’ names, and where I live. And my phone number. When that goes, God help us all.
  • Okay, well honestly, typing all this crap has made me tired so I am going to rest now. Seriously. But…I’ll be back! I think. If I can remember where “here” is. And if I can get here in a wheelchair. Also, you know those things you see on late-night TV where the elderly sit on that seat and it just GLIDES up the stairs? Get me one of those, please. That would be awesome.


  • I forgot that I went out one night and got mixed up with a bachelorette party and then after that was over some people showed up and I was very drunk and someone offered me some marijuana, and part of me was like, hey, I’m 43, I should have done this shit at least ONCE before I die, but the other part of me, the one cell in my body that was not completely WASTED out of its fucking nuclear mind, said, you dumb ass, with your luck, those are cops and you’ll be fucked and you’re out here all alone and you’ll end up in jail for like 20 years just because you wanted to try this ONCE. So I said no, because I was really scared of the consequences, either jail time, or some shit laced with some other shit that was going to end up with me on the floor dying as I choked on my own vomit. Let this be a lesson to you people: if you are out drunk all by yourself and someone offers you ANYTHING, a drink, a drug, or ANYTHING, JUST SAY NO. Seriously. Because it could be really bad. I’m glad I had enough sense to realize that. None of my pot-smoking peeps (all FORMER pot-smokers, I should add) were around to give me guidance and make sure I had a fucking clue. It was tempting, but a bad bad bad bad bad bad idea.  JUST SAY NO, people. Remember Nancy Reagan!!! (Is she dead? I can’t remember. Sometimes you don’t hear about people for a long time and you can’t remember are they dead or just so senile or sick that no one’s talking about them anymore. I wonder if that’s what’s going to happen to me…)

Love, peace, and bacon!

  • Testicular Health – Painful Testicles ( (I have no idea what the fuck this article is about but healthy testicles, I’m all for those. Keep those cojones up and running, my male peeps.)
  • Good shit, is still shit ( (I don’t know if I agree with this statement, because there’s SOME good shit that is not shit, but it’s just that it’s SO good, that you have to call it good shit. Like…a really good fucking cheeseburger, and you quaff it down with a beer or a soda and then you let out a loud awesome belch and lean back and say “That was some good shit right there“. See, that’s not shit. That’s something that’s so good that you have to call it GOOD SHIT. Or maybe marijuana. I don’t know, I’ve never had any (see the update above, but you probably already read that because it is ABOVE), but that seems like something you would call GOOD SHIT. I know my Klonopin, which makes me as high as a kite and very don’t-give-a-fuck, is DEFINITELY, some GOOD SHIT. Anyhow, again, I have no idea WTF this article is about, but good titles hopefully lead to good reading, so enjoy.)

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Posted in General Crap, The Bod | 1 Comment »

One Response to “My Life in Bullet Points”

  1. acitygirl says:

    girl I was wondering where you been. I hope all goes well. we will get back to regular blogging when it gets too cold to enjoy the outdoors. hope all is well