I Wish Taylor Swift Would STFU

I was never a Taylor Swift fan. However, I did give her a slight nod of the head of respect when she first….FIRST….came out with the FIRST song in which she blatantly blurted out her feelings about a relationship gone sour. It was her prerogative, I thought, to voice her feelings and where else would she do it but in song?

But about 90 songs later, most of which include her bitching and moaning and griping and getting her choral revenge on everybody from John Mayer to, most recently, Tiny Fey and Amy Poehler, and it’s like, you know what? Enough is enough. Can you not find ANY OTHER SHIT TO WRITE ABOUT?

Granted, I am not, as I’ve said, a fan. So maybe she does write about other shit and it’s just that these songs, being targeted at other celebrities, are the ones getting the most notice. On the other hand, if she would just stop DOING this shit altogether, then…these songs wouldn’t exist for people to talk about, no?

But every time this heifer has a beef, she goes into the studio and comes out guns blazing. She’s like the country version of rap music with beefs. Except hers are (mostly) to do with romantic breakups, which makes her look like…

A whiny little bitch.

Come on.

We’ve all gone through heartache, and it fucking hurts. But do we all go and sing on the street corner about it? No. I’m not saying she needs to HIDE how she feels. Sure, if she gets asked in an interview if it hurts, well then, admit it hurts. But retain some dignity, and some privacy, and then move the fuck on. Most celebrities relish what little bits of privacy they’re allowed to maintain. She seems invested in pulling everyone into her world of drama, in which the other people are “the bad guys” and she is getting her revenge by outing them and singing songs that supposedly represent some sort of triumph over the evil.

Except, how triumphant are you if you have to keep singing about it EVERY FUCKING TIME?

There’s a concept that if you have to SAY you’re mature, you’re not. Another term like that: classy. No one who is classy actually USES the word classy to describe themselves or other people or events. Classy is one of those words that I fucking hate: the minute I hear it come out of someone’s mouth, I think they’re absolutely NOT.

The same concept goes for Taylor Not-Too-Swift being “over it.” If she were over all these people, she’d be OVER it and not need to rip them to shreds. But she’s NOT over it. So she has to sing about it. And if prancing about on the stage in a wedding dress which gets ripped off to reveal a bad-girl outfit makes her feel better, so be it. You can argue that that is what helps her to get over it, and, okay, maybe. But I think her all-too-public therapy sessions are getting to be a little grating, a lot childish, and calling far more attention to her “you-need-to-treat-me-with-kid-gloves” persona than her talent. If there is any. Because by this point, I really don’t know. And I have no intention of finding out. When I want a soap opera, I’ll turn on the TV.

What I DO want to know is this: what sado-masochistic idiot would consider going out with this woman? Anyone with a head NOT stuck in their ass would have to know by now that getting into a relationship with her is like going out with The National Enquirer. Your business is BOUND to become public. Especially if you DO HER WRONG.

Maybe there are some people who crave attention so much that they’d see that as a cool – and free – way to get some much-wanted publicity. And that’s sad, because if bloodsuckers like that latch onto her, then she’ll have a lot more assholes to sing about, and yet only herself to blame for setting herself up as someone who likes to put all her gripes and business out in the street.

Amy Poehler and Tina Fey at the premiere of Ba...

LOVE them. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

My final words are this: kudos to Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. They took a jab at her and, in typical behavior, she coyly suggested that there’s a place in hell for women who don’t help other women. That was so incredibly childish. First of all, if you’re in Hollywood, and so open about your business, you’re going to have to expect to be the butt of some jokes, and if you can’t take it, then perhaps that’s one of many reasons you should keep your shit private in the first place.  Secondly, who the fuck said all women need to SUPPORT her? Did she get her face beat in like Rihanna? No. She got ditched by some guys and they may have been assholes and we’re so sorry for her, but FUCKING GET OVER IT. One song, okay. I was supportive. Several albums later, and she sounds like the friend whose phone calls you start to avoid because she’s calling you with the same drama ONCE AGAIN about the guy treating her badly and you wish she would put the fucking phone down, stop putting the DUDES down, and start looking in the fucking mirror. I’m done with her and her fucking whining, and I’m thinking the NEXT person she needs to write a song about is herself, because it occurs to ME, that maybe…SHE is the goddamn problem.

I live in obscurity, so I don’t expect that she’ll be ranting about me anytime soon, nor do I expect to be vilified in song. But I’ll tell you one thing: on the one-in-a-million chance that it DID happen, you know what I’d do?

The same thing she needs to do with all these hell-hath-no-fury-like-a-woman-scorned songs:

Laugh, and LET THAT SHIT GO.

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