November 10th, 2012
Several days ago, Punksin handed the Tech Guru her Christmas list.
He looked at it, raised an eyebrow, and silently handed it to me.
At first glance, I noticed that it was a short list. Only 4 things. Which is good, because we can only fit about 4 more things in our house before it fucking explodes.
Then, I actually read the list.
Then, I raised an eyebrow.
You know, I give my kids pseudonyms on here because although I love talking about them, I still want to preserve their privacy. But now, I’m beginning to wonder if I am WAY behind my kids on this stuff.
#3 on the list: “A FINGER-PRINT DETECTION ALARM SYSTEM FOR MY ROOM.”
I’m beginning to wonder if she works for the CIA. But then again, if she did, they’d probably give her that stuff as part of her necessary equipment, right? On the OTHER hand, if she HAD that stuff already, it would BLOW HER COVER. So she has to ask US for it. Hmmmmmm.
Well, GUESS WHAT, CIA? There is NO WAY I am coming out of pocket for a fucking FINGERPRINT ALARM WHATCHAMACALLIT. NO WAY. And by the way? I think YOU guys should be paying for her swimming lessons, since she can potentially USE those when you drop her off in the Black Sea in the middle of the night to do God only knows what. Seriously. Competitive swimsuits, lessons, goggles which she loses EVERY WEEK, skin- and airtight caps, COME ON. CHIP IN. Even the house alarm, shouldn’t YOU guys be springing for that? At least 1/4 of it?
I’m going to be very clear here. The Tech Guru and I will NOT be purchasing any sort of ALARM system for her room. Far from it, the older she gets, the closer we get to taking the damn door off altogether. So if she somehow mysteriously ends up with one of those alarm system thingys, and a steel door to boot…we’ll ALL KNOW what’s REALLY GOING ON HERE.
Actually, it WOULD be pretty cool if Punksin was a spy because her great-grandmother was one for the French Resistance. Seriously. I could tell you more…but then I’d have to kill you.