October 21st, 2012
There are life updates. Seriously.
I’ve just been in too shitty a mood to go into them. Some of them have been good. Some of them have been not so good. And although in either case I tend to be pretty wordy with the here’s-what’s-happening-in-my-life posts, right now, I am so not in the fucking mood. Which begs the question of why I’m bothering to write in the first place.
I don’t really have an answer for that. I think I might be trying to distract myself and this sure as shit isn’t the way to do it because what do I do here but write about the very things that are depressing me or pissing me off?
So I’m going to keep it short and I’m sorry I’m not feeling very upbeat and thrilled and verbose and all.
So, life in a nutshell:
1. Punksin had her first meet about what, a week ago? She swam in 2 events, and came in last in both. She was pretty bummed, I wanted to cry for her, and Pudding actually DID bawl his eyes out. It was her first competition EVER and thankfully it was in-house; in other words, it was just her team, and it was a good way to get her used to the actuality of competing. She was so nervous but I don’t think it was just nerves. As I’ve already noted, speed is not her strong suit just yet and we have a long way to go in that area. I didn’t expect her to come in first but I hated to see her be LAST because I know it made her feel bad and incompetent and those are feelings I am all too familiar with. She has another meet in 2 weeks, a REAL one this time, and I hope that…she’ll do better.
2. I got one of my birthday presents, a new car that I’ve christened Sebastian. Please don’t send me any comments telling me that boats and cars are named after women. Boats and car are named after women because in the early days they were owned by men. I am not a man. I am a woman, my husband bought me a car for my birthday, and I’ll call it whatever the fuck I want. I have never given my cars female names and I’m sure as shit not starting now. I am very happy about this present but today, at this moment right here right now, that’s not shining through, I know. But I am happy. About THAT, anyhow.
3. I lost my ATM card. In the grand scheme of things, this is minor, but considering that I didn’t discover this until I was AT THE DAMN STORE, I’m pretty pissed. And mad at the world, and mad at myself, because that just seems to be one thing on top of some other things that are combining to make me feel…well, mad and shitty.
4. I still have not gone to the doctor. The dizziness has subsided somewhat; I don’t know, maybe the iron supplement is kicking in?
I’m sure there’s other stuff in there but to be honest with you, I’m on the verge of breaking down right now, my head feels like 12 migraines, and I don’t feel like wetting the keyboard with the tears that are threatening to overflow, so you and I are going to have to do this another time. Take a raincheck, okay?