October 1st, 2012
Hey folks, I got a song for ya to sing:
(to the tune of Happy Birthday – the real version, not the Stevie Wonder MLK version. I hate that crap. I mean, I like the real song but I don’t like to hear it sung at a regular birthday party. It just…rankles.)
Congratulations to me,
I’m Lexapro free.
When I get off all the drugs,
I’ll make a baby!
Hee hee hee.
Actually, I’m only taking one on a daily basis, the Wellbutrin, isn’t that fucking AWESOME? I managed to slowly get my body off the Lexapro, no electric shocks to my brain, no severe chills and body aches, no spazzing out. I did it, and my scale-down-very-gradually program worked really well. I am so pscyhed!! But…I do still have the anxiety pills. And if I get preggers, that shit is verboten for a loooooong time. Through pregnancy, and through nursing. Which as you may remember, for me is usually 2 1/2 to 3 years. That’s a loooooooooooong time to be unable to take something when I feel myself getting agitated. I might just have to go back to slapping the shit out of people.
Like today, for instance. I had to take one today. And I don’t even really know WHY. I mean, it wasn’t a bad day. Punksin is sick, so she didn’t make swim practice but we did have to go there this morning to order all of her customized swim gear. The bathing suit is awesome and as much as it pains me to say it….she looks very good in it. As in, I can see the signs of the shapely young lady she will become. The Tech Guru says her butt and legs remind him of me exactly, and it’s ALL MY FAULT. All I know is, God help the young man that approaches her in the future. I will be Psycho Mom on purpose just to keep that fucker on edge.
But as smashing as the suit is, my favorite part of the whole getup is the caps. White caps with the team logo on the sides, and under it, the swimmer’s name printed, just the way the pros do. I had to custom-order it so I don’t think it will arrive before her first meet in a few weeks, but once it’s here, she is going to look SO DAMN COOL.
So THAT was fine. And nothing else much happened today! It was pretty quiet what with Punksin being sick, the Tech Guru working ALL WEEKEND LONG putting out fires at his job and working on a project that he is behind on, and Pudding…well, he’s just Pudding. He always finds some shit to whine about but we’ve learned to just ignore him most of the time, after he gets the warning that it’s really annoying, unnecessary and will not be responded to.
With all that said, I cannot for the life of me figure out what the hell happened that I needed to take an anxiety pill. All I know is, I started feeling…well, anxious. Just anxious, irritated, agitated. But for what? I don’t know, but I just decided to take something to chill me the fuck out. Which it did, for a little bit, and now I’m feeling weird again. I think there is SOMETHING bothering me, but I haven’t dug deep enough to figure it out.
Actually, I think I may be able to put my finger on it. I’m just sort of dreading all of the shit I have to do in the month of October. It seems like it’s going to be a damn busy month and although there’s nothing in it that’s negative, it just all seems like…too much. Buying a car. Getting Pudding into his school. Getting my first mammogram. Getting Punksin back up to speed on her schoolwork. Intense swim schedule. That root canal I’ve been putting off forever, and the beginning of some orthodontic treatment. Punksin’s first swim meet. My grandmother’s birthday. Ordering Halloween costumes before I friggin forget and we all go as mummies wrapped in toilet paper. And oh yes…somewhere in there I need to DO SOME WRITING. There’s just…TOO MUCH HAPPENING.
And then November…ugh.
I was born in November. It is rarely an easy month for me. Rarely.
I was thinking of visiting my sister in LA in the early part of the month. That may still happen. But then there’s Thanksgiving, and I know this may seem all unpatriotic and all, but I hate Thanksgiving. I don’t know why. Any holiday that has BROWN as a chief color is just boring. Why is it brown and orange? Because it’s fall? Because that’s the color of the turkey and the gravy? I mean, we’re celebrating, we’re supposed to be thankful for life’s many blessings, and the best we can do is BROWN? Why not purple? Or green? Or yellow for the fucking corn? BROWN? REALLY?
Then of course comes Christmas and doing the whole gift thing for the kids. We always make sure that books are included and this year will be no different. The rest of it, I have yet to figure out. And right after that is the Tech Guru’s birthday and we were looking at going to Florida and GOD HELP ME I CAN’T DEAL WITH ALL THIS SHIT.
I speak in jest…sort of. Right now, to tell you the truth, it does seem a little overwhelming, especially this month when there are so many things that need to happen quickly. But none of it’s really BAD. It’s just stuff that needs to get DONE.
But, one step at a time, just like getting off the Lexapro. I’m pretty happy about that. And I’m hoping that, although it’s by no means a given, that once the doctor and I discuss how we need to move forward with the anemia problem, that getting that back in balance will also help me to get back in balance overall, and then I can drop the Wellbutrin as well, and then, as my boy the Turtleman says, LIVE ACTION!!! Please tell me you have seen that show. It comes on the Animal Planet channel and is absolutely fucking hysterical. This guy is a self-trained wrangler of all animals, and he’s the most simple and uncouth man you could meet and yet…he’s not ghetto. He’s country. From Kentucky, to be exact. And he’s not out there acting disgraceful (this means YOU, Honey Boo Boo!) he’s just being his plain simple self, helping people to rid themselves of rodents, foxes, coyotes and all other manner of sneaky animals wreaking havoc on people’s farms, homes and businesses. I have no idea how much Animal Planet is paying him per episode, but I bet it’s not the $25K those jackasses from Jersey Shore were getting. And HE’S actually performing a service to the community, not just walking around with his tummy hanging out being an obnoxious asshole.
I tell you, this country is so fucking backwards sometimes it just isn’t funny.
Anyhow, wherever you are, whatever you’re drinking, raise a glass to my health, will you? Thanks for being with me this far. I’ve jumped one hurdle and I have a few more coming, but I’m going to try to go out there swinging and just KNOCK SHIT OUT.
Here’s hoping it doesn’t knock me out first.