Yes I Can Still Count

I CAN count, but sometimes I get lost…

I was trying to remember how many days ago I started the Lexapro Withdrawal Plan and I’m pleased to report that it’s been NINETEEN DAYS!

With really no side effects to speak of. I am now on 2.5 mg of the stuff and after this we go to…

ZERO.

I’m hoping that my body and brain will be okay with this program.

You know, I think Scientologists are a bunch of crackpots. I’m sorry if you are a Scientologist and I’ve offended you, but really, you’re following a religion that was made up by a science fiction writer who was looking for ways to get rich and famous. Jesus, Moses, Buddha, Mohammed – none of them got rich of off the stuff they were saying, and they weren’t trying to be popular.

BUT, one thing they believe in that I can agree with: psychiatric drugs are a HUGE fucking problem.

I wouldn’t go so far as to say they’re the work of the devil or anything like that, because I do believe that for the right people, in the right conditions, they can actually be helpful. But I do also think that there are a lot of people who are taking meds they don’t need to be taking, that the drug companies love this shit, and that we like to throw pills at our problems.

And I’m as guilty of this as many other people. How many times have I been on here begging to find a pill that would make me numb? Why is it that my doctor hasn’t actively tried to wean me off of Lexapro herself despite the obvious news that it was no longer working?

Trust me, I AM grateful for the Lexapro. And the Wellbutrin. AND the Klonopin. I think they have been incredibly helpful at times when I needed them. But I think these and similar pills need to be prescribed with any eye towards eventually coming OFF of them, and I don’t see that so much. It’s more like take these until…well, until the cow jumps over the moon or some shit. There’s no end plan. And that’s not good.

But I’m making my own end plan and so far I am okay with it, all is well, I don’t feel depressed BUT I don’t feel ecstatically happy or something (in other words, pendulum swinging too far to the other side). I feel…I don’t know, a little more balanced, a little stronger, a little more able to cope?

Anyhow, I know that’s not nearly as exciting for you as hearing me talk for the 90th time about running down the street naked, so I promise that as I get better, I will replace my medication/depression induced madness for some good old “she’s-just-fucking-crazy” stuff. God forbid I get boring.

Well, I need to go to bed. The last 2 nights I have forgotten to set the alarm clock and then I’ve gotten up late and the kids have gotten up late and then they were late to kiddie Alcatraz school and then that caused some problems with the school which I have not even had the time to go into here but suffice it to say that they pissed me off enough yesterday that I needed an anxiety pill to calm the fuck down. Haven’t had one in WEEKS. But these fuckers made me take one.

So I need to get some rest so that I can walk the kids over in the morning and surrender them to these goddamn parole officers they have parading as teachers and staff.

Fuckers.

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Posted in The Bod | 1 Comment »

One Response to “Yes I Can Still Count”

  1. Adina says:

    Whew! Nineteen. I feel better now and won’t need to see Peaches any time soon. Which is good; I wasn’t looking forward to it.

    Moving on to the part about feeling more balanced and stronger: does that mean you will need a couple of new background images for this blog? 🙂