I Am Happy Today and You Can’t Touch This

I have no idea WHY I am in such a good mood.

I think…it’s a whole bunch of things coming together.

Oh wait. I AM pissed about one thing.

So I told you my doctor wrote to me to tell me that my iron levels were dangerously low. And she asked me a few questions, about my menstruation, my health in general, so…I answered her questions.

For 2 days I hear nothing.

Last night she finally sends me an email and I open it, thinking we’re finally getting somewhere, and all she has to say is, “Can you make an appointment to come in so we can discuss all of this?”


Why not just ask me that in the FIRST place?

I’m already annoyed that this bloodwork was done at the end of July and she’s only NOW getting back to me to tell me that my iron is severely low. I mean, if it’s that fucking severe, shouldn’t there have been a bit more HASTE in letting me KNOW this?

Then, she finally reaches out and ask me some questions, and I answer them, only to have her say I should make an appointment to discuss it? Then why not fucking tell me that in the FIRST email? Why START a conversation by email only to say that I need to come in to discuss it? Really? I mean, my answers didn’t contain any earth-shattering news that made it better or worse. I feel like we are just wasting time here when I want to get my health back on track and prevent any further issues, because there are some other things I DIDN’T say in my email to her that I only realized later might be related. Like my heart problems. So yeah, we do need to discuss it.

So that, I am a tad annoyed about. But I didn’t wait on her anyhow, I went and bought an iron supplement, a liquid one, that I now take 2x a day, and Pudding takes it once a day, and we’ll see if that at least keeps me from croaking while I WAIT TO FUCKING DISCUSS IT.

It’s interesting to me because those heart issues I referenced,  I had no idea that some of that shit could possibly be explained by the anemia. I mean, I know it’s all blood-related but I still thought they were two distinct problems. But apparently, when anemia gets severe it can cause cardiac problems, and… I’ve had me some of those! So now that I KNOW that, I can tell my current doctor all of this and maybe, just maybe, we’ll figure out a solution.

I’m cold as shit as I write this, by the way. And the heat is on. And I’m wearing a jacket. And my hands feel like ice blocks. All normal for me, but apparently…not so good!

But despite ALL of that, I feel…good. I feel like I am tackling that issue and hoping for the best. The kids’ last day of school is tomorrow and I’m glad for that because the environment is not one any of us were happy with. The Lexapro is almost done and there have been no severe side effects, and I’m hoping that if I get the whole anemia thing sorted out, that I can get off the Wellbutrin too, because the low iron is very likely a great cause for my lethargy and general malaise, and it’s definitely a cause for why anything under 80 degrees feels arctic to me.

Still, I just feel…GOOD.

And it’s weird, because it’s fall, and we all know what that normally means for me: doom, gloom and despair.

And that’s been…strangely absent.

Mind you, I am not complaining about it. It’s not like I want that state of mind to return. But it’s just odd to me to feel so…positive, at this time of year. It doesn’t feel insanely positive or unrealistic, either, like mania. It feels…grounded, but good. Everything is not perfect, but it feels as though everything is in place, and things are moving in the right direction. That’s the only way I can describe it.

Of course, having said all of this and feeling so great, I will probably suffer congestive heart failure shortly. In which case, it’s been really nice knowing all of you! Or I should say having you know me. Yeah, that’s been loads of fun. If I’ve managed to make you laugh at least once, then…I did what I came here to do.


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