July 2nd, 2012
I’m here hanging out with two close friends, who are amazingly awesome, if by “amazingly awesome” you understand me to mean I WISH THEY WOULD GO HOME. Their names are Insomnia and Nausea. Perhaps you know them?
It’s 4:00 in the morning. For the past 2 1/2 hours I’ve been lying in Punksin’s bed with her, listening to an audiobook. She asked me to sleep with her because she felt lonely, and I figured, you know what? These requests come very infrequently and soon, they’ll stop altogether, so sure, I’ll lie down with her. It did remind me of how crappy her mattress is, so I really need to get her a new one. But that wasn’t why I couldn’t sleep. Every now and then I would drift off and then I’d wake back up. Not because of the book…that’s actually what I use to fall – and stay – asleep. But tonight, it wasn’t working.
I think it’s the meds. That’s on the list of side-effects of Wellbutrin. So are ejaculation and painful erections but so far, I haven’t gotten those. And ballism – I don’t even know what the hell that is. A desire to play basketball?
Okay, since I’m wide awake I just looked it up. According to Wikipedia, it is “violent flinging movements of the limbs, sometimes affecting only one side of the body.”
You’ve GOT to be kidding me.
Good God, if that starts to happen I am so off this crap.
The other things I’m noticing: a weird sort of sweetish taste in my mouth, and very slight tremors that only happen when I’m late with a dose.
They don’t make this stuff easy to get off of, do they. No cold turkey here!
So I’m sitting here, writing and listening to the song Make a Baby by Vikter Duplaix, which is a very sexy song and is currently in heavy rotation on my personal playlist. Although I have to say, it hasn’t actually encouraged me to engage in any baby-making activity. I also find it soothing, and I’m hoping it will get me to sleep.
So far, 3 different versions of the song have been looping for about an hour and…well, here I am so you can figure it out.
Okay, shit just got serious.
I hear birds singing.
And the sky is getting light.
Which is NOT good, because if I don’t get to sleep before the sun comes up, I CAN’T SLEEP.