I Should SO Be in London Right Now

I swear, listening to Andrea Whats-her-face asking the Olympic swimmers questions after they come out of the pool, is only slightly less annoying than driving pencils into my eyeballs.

What is this woman getting PAID for?

Michael Phelps lost one of his races. I mean, REALLY lost. No gold, no silver, no bronze. Which means, no medal and no podium. He comes out of the pool, goes over to be interviewed (which I already think is rude, this relatively new thing of interviewing athletes RIGHT AFTER THEY’VE WON OR LOST. Can they just have a moment to absorb what the hell happened, for God’s sake?), and this is the GENIUS FUCKING QUESTION she comes up with:

So, Michael, how does it feel to have lost the race?


How does it FEEL?

Okay, really. WHAT the HELL does she THINK he’s going to say? “Oh, it feels great. I was REALLY getting tired of standing up on that podium. What a relief that’s over.”

American swimmer Michael Phelps, along with hi...

Gee, I wonder how Michael Phelps FEELS right here. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Come on, people. COME ON. HOW DOES IT FEEL? He should have slapped her, and then said, “You see how you feel right now? THAT’S how it felt. Ciao, I’m outta here.” That’s what I would have done. I mean, he’s retiring after this anyhow, who gives a shit. Go out with a bang.

There were so many other questions she could have asked him. Did swimming in lane 8, which is a bad lane, affect his performance, since he’s usually in the best lanes (4 or 5)? Did he feel that he was getting tired or did he just hold back for too long? Give us some goddamn INSIGHT into the actual process. Not just how does it feel to LOSE. Come on, lady.

And then, the ones who win? This is her brilliant post-swim interview:

So, tell me, how does it feel to have your first Olympic gold/silver/bronze whatever-the-fuck medal?

Oh, it SUCKS, Andrea. It sucks SO BAD to have trained for this shit for FOUR GODDAMN YEARS, and to come out here – and actually ACCOMPLISH IT. It is AWFUL. I think I will go back to my room in the Olympic Village and cry, and then see if I can melt this fucker down to make some gold caps for my teeth.

COME ON. How does it FEEL? REALLY?

And she is getting PAID for this. Courtesy of NBC, which I think MUST stand for No Brains Channel, this woman has been flown to England, put up in what I assume is a not-too-shabby hotel, fed well, to interview the top athlete celebs in the swimming world – and this is the crap she’s coming up with. For THIS, she is paid. FOR THIS. She has her one-question list, and that’s pretty much it.

Oh, the part I love MORE is when someone ANSWERS her stupid question, and then she goes on to ask the SAME QUESTION, just…slightly reworded.

Her: “So, how does it feel to win an Olympic medal?

Athlete: “yadda yadda yadda great awesome speechless yadda blah blah”

Her: “So, when you looked up and realized you had won, how did it feel?

Yes. She does this. Yes.

And then, sometimes she does that OTHER thing that sports journalists do: asking a leading question with an OBVIOUS FREAKING ANSWER.

So, your mom must be really proud of you right now, huh?”

What the hell answer is there to say to that? NO? You’ve SEEN the mom up in the stands waving a goddamn flag, jumping up and down, screaming and crying. But nah, she’s not proud. It was just that a squirrel fell down her pants.

Sigh. This is such bullshit. It’s gotten to the point where I’m watching the Olympics with the sound down. And although I’m picking on Andrea Whatever-Her-Name-Is, the gymnastics commentators are no better. Frankly, they ALL SUCK.

I love the Olympics, I really do. The very fact that it only happens every 4 years, and is a coming together of the best athletes that each country has to offer, means we really should be able to honor the tradition with some commentators and interviewers who actually have BRAINS and the insight to ask interesting or thought-provoking questions. I’m sitting on my couch making SQUAT and I can think of better questions than these bozos. It’s bloody awful.

So, tell me…how was reading this post for YOU?


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Posted in The Rants | 2 Comments »

2 Responses to “I Should SO Be in London Right Now”

  1. A city girl says:

    That was hilarious but should I expect anything less from your blog?…note to self DO NOT CHECK THIS BLOG AT WORK AS FREQUENT OUTBURSTS OF LAUGHTER MAY FOLLOW. Hey why don’t you send a copy of your post to the network? It would be pretty interesting to see if they respond and how they respond.

  2. Leila says:

    The funny thing is, apparently LOADS of people have been complaining about NBC’s CRAPPY job. ONCE every FOUR YEARS. ONCE. And these asses cannot think of anything REMOTELY intelligent to say, even although half of them USED TO DO THE SAME FUCKING SPORT THEY’RE COMMENTING ON. I just don’t get it. They won’t respond to me. I curse too much and they’ll write me off as a nutcase…which, really, when you think about it…are they WRONG?