What Happens When You Ask for Excitement

So apparently, there’s such a thing as Too Much Excitement.

Or Excitement of the Wrong Kind.

Who knew?

Today’s excitement consisted of a tree falling on my house. Right plop down in front of the front door, where the kids and I had been standing examining some bamboo we planted not 15 minutes earlier.

And the tree that fell over was across the street, and on its Path of Destruction it took out one of OUR trees, a tree I had JUST recently decided I would put a nice bench under because it provided such beautiful shade. I had visions of me, sitting on the bench, crocheting, or even better, having a drink, while watching the kids play outside.

I shudder to think what would have happened had I been indulging in this fantasy when this tree massacre happen.

Picea abies, single tree. Russia, Ivanovo Dist...

I love trees, but especially when they are not on my house.

I call it a massacre because it took out my entire goddamn garden. At least, I think so. I’m not really sure, because I can’t actually SEE my garden right now, buried as it is under a shit load of branches and debris.

The peace lilies I had sitting outside to get rain have hopefully escaped too much damage. They were houseplants but I had them gracing the steps. I can see one. The other is, as the Australians would say, Down Under.

The kids are freaking out because…well, because they like to have shit to freak out about. The Tech Guru is freaking out because the tree brought down a utility pole, live wires are all over the place, and apparently the pole also had a transformer on it and could explode at any minute, if the Fire Department is to be believed.

Me, I’m not freaking out so much at what happened, more about what could have happened. My car COULD have been right where the tree is now. I could have been where the tree is now. And God help us, the KIDS could have been where the tree is now. I RARELY let the kids go outside without me, thanks to pedophiles and predators. But this is our front stoop, before you even reach the sidewalk, and I have occasionally let them go out there to smell the flowers, look at our bamboo, water the plants, blow bubbles or something else quick and easy. What if?

But I’m not going to focus too much on the what if because thank GOD, none of it happened. We WERE out there…but then we were NOT. Not when it mattered. And THAT’S what matters. My munchkins are safe and sound.

I don’t know what the hell is going to happen next. The police, fire department, county, utility people and neighbors have all been out there for about 2 hours yet and so far, diddly squat has happened. My front door still opens out onto an impassable forest. Lines are still down. For some weird reason, we still have electricity, although the fire department said it would probably get shut off. Life is continuing somewhat normally, except that our house…

has a tree on it.

Once we remove the tree we’ll be able to see what damage has really occurred. I know the flowers must have taken a hit. The gutters also got damaged. I can’t see the roof on that side but I’d be shocked if some shingles hadn’t come off. We’ll see.

I guess all in all, it’s not that bad of an excitement. I mean, it could be way worse. Someone could be hospitalized or dead. We could have a tree smack in the MIDDLE of the house as opposed to the edge. Thank God, none of that has happened.

Stay tuned. Will post pix later. Oh, did I mention we’re expecting company tomorrow? Tomorrow MORNING? And that I DID retile the broken bathroom tiles, which mean we’ll all be taking whore’s baths tonight? (If you don’t know what that is, you are so missing out on life’s poetry.) Yes! We have company coming, a bathtub filled with debris and a tree as a front door.


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