Camp is Coming, and Oh Yeah Something Else

Camp is coming, camp is coming!


I’m so excited…and I just can’t hide it.

The sad thing is, I keep forgetting that Pudding’s birthday is coming up as well. BEFORE camp. Which means I better get my ass in gear for celebrating HIS BIRTHDAY before I go about the business of celebrating MY FREE TIME, OH SWEET JESUS THANK YOU.

At least one day, JUST ONE, I am going to sit in front of the TV ALL DAY and watch my old Alfred Hitchcock shows. I love old TV. Maybe I’ll throw in some Fred Astaire for good measure.

So Pudding’s birthday is coming and I asked him what he wanted. I mean, he really doesn’t need much and I don’t want to add more unnecessary toys to the mix of shit that he will be excited about for 1 day and then forget it even fucking exists. Do you KNOW how many midnight marauding sessions I have had, where I go through their toys and just THROW SHIT OUT?

I have to do this while they are sleeping, because I have learned…if I do this while they’re awake, and they SEE the toy in question, all of a sudden that toy becomes THEIR MOST FAVORITE TOY EVER. And much wailing and whining and frowning and sadness ensues, all for some goddamn toy that they have not played with in SIX MONTHS, have not LOOKED for or ASKED about, NOTHING. The toy, as far as they remember, does not even exist. But when Mommy is about to CHUCK THAT SHIT OUT, you would think I was throwing one of THEM in the garbage. So now, I do this while they are sleeping. Because their playroom looks like a hurricane hit, and there’s too much crap.

Anyhow, I, as usual, digress.

The things on Pudding’s birthday list:


Wikipedia says these are the characters for “ninja.” Wikipedia sometimes fucks things up, depending as it does on the public, in which there are many individuals who have no idea what the fuck they are talking about. So if this doesn’t say NINJA, don’t blame me.

  1. A ninja outfit.
  2. Ninja shoes.
  3. A fireman outfit.
  4. A tuxedo.
  5. Swimming trunks…the tight ones.

Do you see a trend here?


He even said he would ask for shoes but, he admitted, “I already have a lot of shoes.”

I see GQ in his future. I mean, I know he’s my son and all, but he IS rather handsome.

I have to go about getting some of this stuff right now, so I’m outta here before I forget all over again due to getting excited that CAMP IS COMING, CAMP IS COMING, I AM GOING TO RUN SCREAMING NAKED AROUND THE HOUSE. WHOO-HOO!!!

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