May 16th, 2012
Today was a FABULOUS day. The kids and I took a field trip with a huge bunch of homeschoolers down to Sandy Hook. I’d never been and although the beach doesn’t hold a CANDLE to the pristine beaches and waters of the Caribbean, it was a wonderful experience for the kids. They learned a lot about estuaries and the local marine life, and even got to do some seining. (If you don’t know what seining is, go look it up. I am not a dictionary, people.)
The kids had a blast and it was so much fun seeing them collecting shells on the beach, examining live fish and shrimp, holding the broken remains of a horseshoe crab. The whole area is a national park and it’s HUGE, with long meandering walkways and bike paths.
Needless to say, we have to go back. The kids were upset that the Tech Guru wasn’t there and I missed him too – trips like that are right up our alley, out in nature being in awe of just about everything.
Anyhow, I hope that oh so FASCINATING tidbit about our extraordinary day was a wonderful read for you…because it will be the last one you read for a while.
The staycation this post’s title refers to is not the day we had, but the fact that I am taking a break from here, for a number of reasons, all of which I’ve discussed with my very dear friend from childhood, Mark Evans, who is an absolutely AMAZING fucking illustrator whose work you should immediately go and acquaint yourself with. Not that his illustrations have ANYTHING to do with ANYTHING I am saying here, but I have to tell you how awesome his work is. I mean, AWESOME. And I have been trying to get him to draw me for AGES but he is so busy with incredible projects such as the ones you will see on his site if you would just go and fucking LOOK already. I am hoping that one day it will happen before I get so old that he has to draw me as some kind of old crone hag or something. Cuz really, that would suck.
But back to the point: as I was telling Mark (amazing illustrator man), there are a few reasons why I decided, after giving it some thought, to take a break.
One, I really want to focus on my fiction. Mark is actually a big part of the reason for that: he, and other good friends, and of course The Tech Guru, have been encouraging me to get back to work on my Real Stuff. And although this space right here is some of my stuff, it’s not what I want the sum total of my output to be. If anything, it is a minor part of what I want to be doing. But right now, it is taking up too much time. I know, ironic given that I don’t even write here that much anymore, but I just don’t even want it as an excuse. I need to focus on ONE THING in my writing. And this can’t be it.
The other part, and this is equally as important, is…I’m just not so sure that I want to keep putting myself out there to this extent. In a world that is increasingly transparent thanks to Facebook and blogs and Twitter and reality shows, there is little that is sacred or private. I want to reclaim some of that for myself. I have a few really really good friends with whom I can talk about my kids, or my depression (which is decreasing daily, yay!), or my work, or my interests. And those are the people I want to talk to or be with and share myself with. I’d rather focus on seeing THEM or talking to THEM than merely disseminating the factoids of my life here to them AND a whole bunch of other people who don’t even know me.
So, I’m not sure what the future holds. I may not come back. Or maybe I’ll come back and only grant access to a few of those select people I mentioned, the people I actually know and care about or those that have shown some interest in what is going on in my life. Or maybe I’ll come back and keep it very superficial. I don’t know yet which way I’ll go, and I’m not giving it much thought for now. Now is the time to turn my attention elsewhere, and this…this will keep.
Thanks to Mark for being one of my muses, SERIOUSLY, who ALWAYS inspires me with his work and his words of wisdom and encouragement. Thanks to Michal for being a wonderful friend on this spiritual journey we call life, for checking in on me and making sure that my head and spirit are in a good place. Thanks to the Tech Guru who is always there, helping me to get where I want to go, no matter how the road twists and turns. And thanks to my blessed little Punksin and Pudding, who on my darkest days are my candles from God, and on my brightest days are my wonderful little learning companions with whom I can laugh myself silly. And thanks to everybody who came along for the ride and peeked in to see what was happening in my particular world of crazy. It’s still crazy and it’s loads of fun, and I appreciate that you cared enough to read my words from time to time. I hope to have more for you soon…just, not about me.