I Am Becoming…

a soap whore. No, seriously. There are people out there who make soap – thousands of them! And I have become their love slave. (In a manner of speaking…) People are making soaps in their kitchens/garages/cabins/converted sheds, doing it the old-school way, which is to say that for the most part, these soaps not only […]

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I Hope He’s Not Thinking About Penile Enlargement

You have to love conversations with little kids. They cover a whole lot of seemingly unrelated subjects in under 5 minutes. It’s like those speed dates where you learn about someone in 5 minutes and move on.  All conversations should be that efficient. Today, I’m in the potty bathroom watching Pudding pee, because I’m still […]

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And Another Thing About the Vaginas…

So I was thinking about the whole “hot female vagina” thing. (If you have no idea what I’m talking about, please, catch up.) Anyhow, as I was saying, I was pondering the whole thing and then it hit me… What ass types in “hot female vagina“? I mean, think about it. Have you ever known […]

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The Vagina Monologues, It Ain’t

I admittedly suck when it comes to things like checking my blog stats. I don’t know why people come here, why they stay here, what the hell they do while they’re here, or why they leave. I just write what I want to write; the stats thing, I figure that’s The Tech Guru’s job. Every […]

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NEVER, I Tell You

Pudding announced this morning that he will not be getting married. And therefore, he added, we did not need to be getting him “married clothes,” whatever those are. He has also announced – most of the things Pudding says come in the form of impromptu announcements that are totally apropos of nothing – that he […]

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Soon Appearing On Vh1

So this conversation happened in our house today: Punksin: I’m not going to help you on the iPad anymore. I keep helping you and then you’re mean to me and don’t appreciate it. You need to act nice. Nice and cute. Pudding (rolling his eyes): Uh, hello? I don’t do cute. Punksin: Yeah – you […]

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