October 14th, 2010
So… I went through most of yesterday feeling as though I was on the smallest nanosecond of a time delay. I didn’t mind that too much, except when I was driving.
My appetite was better as well, which is good for basic survival, I suppose, but I don’t want to put on any weight so I’ll have to keep an eye on that.
What I didn’t like was that by the end of the day I was sleepy as all get-out. Nighttime is supposed to be my time, and there I was lying down with the kids, yawning like a hippo and ready to pass the hell out. The only thing that got me out of bed was wanting to eat (thank you, appetite). Then the Tech Guru and I watched the first episode of Doctor Who, which was a huge struggle for me because about 5 minutes in I decided I really just wanted to go back to bed. But I didn’t, and we watched it – and then I went back to bed at around 11:00.
And woke up at 3:00 this morning.
Did I get up? If you have to ask you obviously don’t know me very well. I don’t mind being up at 3 am if it means I’ve been up from the night before. But to get out of my nice warm bed at 3:00 in the morning?
So I lay there. And tossed. And turned. And thought about stuff that I can’t even remember now. Maybe I dozed off again, I don’t know. All I know is, I was up around 4ish, and 4:30ish, and 5ish, and then in the dark the Tech Guru got up because he couldn’t sleep either. At least he was productive: he took a shower and went downstairs and cleaned up in the kitchen. Me, I just lay there, hoping to go back to sleep, which I think I may have done for 5 minutes before Punksin materialized on my side of the bed like an apparition, rubbing her stomach.
So today’s symptoms include, yes, insomnia, as well as mild flu-like body aches and more nausea (although that seems to have dissipated somewhat). I know later the tiredness is going to hit me like an atomic bomb. I am supposed to be going out to dinner later but that looks less and less likely to happen, because I am fairly certain that I am going to be pretty useless by the time evening rolls around.
My general opinion thus far is that mentally and emotionally, I feel a little better, albeit a little emotionally shut down, but I have no physical energy. I can’t stay up late like I used to, and that is killing my writing time, my social life – my me time!
I hope it’s not always going to be like this. I can’t function like this. This, in a word, sucks.
I’m keeping a diary of how I feel (aside from here, that is) so that I can discuss it with the doctor in a month, and also see for myself whether or not some of this crap goes away in a few days or what.
I’ve been keeping the Tech Guru apprised of every symptom, and as I rattle off the laundry list, he always looks uncomfortable, as though he’s not sure how to handle this information or what to do with it. Finally this morning he says to me, “It’s amazing what drugs can do to your body, huh?”
If I tell him that, coming from him, that doesn’t sound like a simple statement as much as it sounds like more judgment, he’s going to tell me I’m reading into things and putting words into his mouth.
Anyhow, I need to get it together to take the kids to their art lesson at the museum, and then I will probably come back home and put back on my pajamas and get back under the covers and go back to sleep.
Okay, probably not. At the very least, I have to give Punksin a math lesson today. If I have any sense, I’ll tackle it before we go out because I might be toast by the time we get back.
That’s if I have any sense.