Sometimes, Shit Does NOT Happen

My son has not pooped in 5 days.

This is worrisome.

We decided to go cold turkey with the diapers.  He’s three, and if he wears pull-ups, he just goes in them. So a few months ago we started testing him out with underwear.  He had quite a few accidents – 0f both the yellow and the brown kind.

I quickly got turned off and went back to pull-ups.

Then we tried again a few weeks ago. There was progress: he would announce when he had to go pee-pee, but he would hold out for a pull-up to poop.  His butt armed and ready with his pull-up (which, come on, people, it’s really still a fucking diaper), he’d run off into a corner and next thing I’d hear all the accompanying grunts and pushing and voila!  There would be poop.

Finally, I decided enough was enough.  Punksin was potty trained by her second birthday.  I know boys are harder and I know Pudding is a different kid, but still, comparisons aside, I felt it was time.  Clearly there was progress in just a few weeks: he could and would tell us when something was pending, and he didn’t like having accidents, so I figured he’d either “git ‘er done” immediately or have one or two accidents that would quickly get him over his last hurdle.

That was 5 days ago.

He’s been in underwear the whole time. And he’s been peeing like a champ – only one accident.

But he will not poop.

At first I wasn’t concerned; I figured he’d just sort of overflow. Score zero for me as a mother:  I’ve since read that children who hold it can end up making it harder for themselves to go.  Apparently the bowels pull water out of the poop which in turn makes it harder for them to push it out which makes them scared to poop which makes them hold it which makes the bowels pull out more water which makes it harder for them to push it out…

And eventually they become impacted, meaning they need an enema or something to clear all that shit out. Literally.

I remember this happening with my daughter. She was a baby at the time, so she had to go along with the indignity of getting a suppository shoved up her butt and although she was none too happy about it, it was pretty easy to handle the flailing chubby legs of a 9-month old.

My son is three years old.

I’m not sure if I’m going to have to go the enema route or if the Milk of Magnesia I started giving him last night will do the job, but whatever the case, I can tell you one thing.

This is not going to be pretty.

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