August 17th, 2010
Today, not so teary.
But pissy? Hell yes. Which is why I had to Take It There today.
When an acquaintance from high school called actor Michael Ealy a light-eyed bastard, I got a little…in his face. (That would be via Facebook, just so you understand. But I would have said the same things to him in person.)
It’s not that I’m a big Michael Ealy fan, mind you. You probably don’t even remember who he is, but it’s not even that important. It’s what he is: a light-skinned Black man with blue eyes. And the guy being the Hater is a dark-skinned, dark-eyed guy whose rationale for hating both Michael Ealy and Gary Dourdan (another light-skinned light-eyed dude who played Warrick on CSI) is that he grew up in the 80s when “the fair-skinned light-eyed brother was king“, so he’s “kind of biased“.
Read “kind of biased” to mean “I was pissed I didn’t look like them back in the day and I’m still pissed now”.
Well, I am the mother of a light-skinned, originally blue-eyed son with dark blonde hair, and fuck you very much. His eyes are now brown, if that makes you feel any better. I’m sorry that you have self-esteem issues from not getting that little heifer you were lusting after because she ignored you in favor of the lighter guy, and I’m sorry that you have internalized that light-skinned/dark-skinned thing to the point that you’ve begun hating people that don’t even know you exist. I actually do feel your pain, really; as a former dork myself, I know what it’s like to be on the outside looking in, to be uncool, to be ignored. But I also see nothing positive about hating two guys whom you don’t know personally, and who are just out there trying to hold down a goddamn job in Hollywood.
It’s been said often and it applies nowhere more than here: don’t hate the player, hate the game. If these guys are lucky enough to be working in Hollywood with solid, well-developed, beyond-the-stereotype roles, be happy for them. And get some self-esteem while you’re at it, because it’s really not about Michael Ealy or Gary Dourdan or any other light-skinned guy. It’s about you. Admit that you’ve allowed yourself to be duped by the “lighter is better” nonsense, admit that these two guys may be benefiting from it but did not start it nor do they necessarily believe it, stop hating other people for the shade of their skin, and grow the fuck up already.
I said I was pissy, right? Yeah…I did.