Comments on: The Dying Art of Telephone Etiquette

By: Leila

Leila — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 16:30:27 +0000

Yeah. Back atcha.

By: Here is a

Here is a — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 14:53:57 +0000

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By: Leian

Leian — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 19:15:31 +0000

Oh, it’s just bloody awful!! You can be out to dinner with someone and they MUST check to see who is calling. As you point out, of course those of us with kids love being able to be found immediately – but this behavior is not limited to those with kids. It’s all the time, everywhere. But it goes both ways – in our house, his cell phone will ring at 8:00 am – his mother calling. Has someone died? Because when the phone rings at that hour, that’s what I assume. No, she is just calling because that time is convenient for her. It is not impossible for her to call him midday or on the weekends, but that’s when SHE likes to call and therefore, that’s all that matters. I suppose I should be happy because it used to be 7:30, which I thought was worthy of divorce proceedings, it was so annoying. I have tried and am still trying not to let this rankle but oh, how it does, because like you, when I hear a phone ring at that hour, I am primed to think emergency. And then when it is not an emergency, I am primed to think “rude and thoughtless” – because we are still awakening, having breakfast as a family, trying to get out the door, perhaps, and I would like to think that there is SOME time that we are allowed to be awake but free of intrusion. But people just do what works for THEM, and because she used to call him at that hour when he was single, I presume, the concept that maybe now with other people in the house it might NOT be such a good idea has neither occurred to her, nor been accepted by him despite my having expressed my vehement displeasure at it.

Etiquette is definitely dying, my girl, dying. No one cares anymore about other people – you see it in the way people drive, in the way they yap loudly on the phone, it’s a me me me world. I think back to stories I’ve read set in Victorian and Edwardian times and although the rules from those days can seem quaint and stifling, at least there WERE rules, designed to consider others and also – and this is the part people don’t get – allow consideration for YOURSELF. But now, we are “on” 24-7. And we don’t realize that we are actually LOSING touch with people because when we do see them, we are so busy checking emails and cellphones instead of giving our friends and family the undivided attention they deserve at the PROPER TIME. Hubby comes home from work, sits down at the table, and while he’s waiting for dinner out comes the iPhone. What about talking to the kids or listening to what they’re saying? What about sitting back and allowing yourself to breathe and hear the breeze outside in the trees and feel the sun on your face as you wind down from a long day? This is not the example I want the kids to see of how they should function, and it is not the idea I want them to get of how they are regarded, that they are less important than someone sending an email. Can we never be “off-duty”?

Thank you for understanding. Maybe we should start a club…

By: Audrey

Audrey — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 16:57:01 +0000

I’m so glad you wrote this, and I couldn’t agree with you more. What’s sad is that most people are old enough to remember when we didn’t have these conveniences, therefore they should know how to behave properly. When I think back to those days, there are very few adults I know who would have dreamed of calling at unacceptable hours. But many assume that because the person they are calling has caller id, that that person can simply screen and not pick up the phone. Even having to check who is calling is an interruption and intrusion. What if everyone is asleep? It used to be a phone call in the night meant an emergency, and for me it still does, gets me upset and my heart racing if it’s after 11.

Telephones, including cellphones, computers, even television and radio can be an intrusion on your life because they are bringing outside stuff into your home. My rule is, unless it is a dire emergency or you are my mom, do not call me in the morning before work, before 9 am on the weekends and any time after 9 pm ever.

I also have found I’ve had to reevaluate friendships with friends who feel it is necessary to answer every cell phone call while we are out trying to socialize (a phone call from the babysitter or other important calls are another matter). To me that says that I either don’t deserve their uninterrupted attention, or hanging out with me is so boring that constant phone calls are welcome. Either way its unbearably rude. I’ve even started to evaluate whether I need a cell phone. It is a convenience, but do people need to reach me that bad?

Next person who shows lack of phone etiquette, I’m going to direct them to your blog. Thanks for writing this!