April 27th, 2009
…I now weigh exactly what I weighed when I entered college 22 years ago.
Now I’ve been wanting to tone myself but this is not what I had in mind. Even back then, I was happy when I put on the freshman 15. It made me look healthy. Before that – and now – I was just too skinny.
Now, before you sit there saying “I hate you”, as someone rather rudely said to me yesterday, let me point out a few things:
- If you are going to hate me for being 115 pounds – yes, I said it – then at least put down the fucking Twinkies first. It amazes me that people will express envy to the point of saying they hate me when their eating habits are atrocious. Are you doing anything to lose weight besides sitting on your ass hating people? Cuz last time I checked, the calorie burn on that was pretty low.
- You might envy my weight, but I doubt you’d want the stress and illness that have gotten me where I am – so be careful what you wish for.
- It is also worth noting, however, that a good part of my weight is sheer genetics. So don’t hate me, hate your parents. Or better yet…
- Don’t hate anybody. Personally I find it extremely offensive when people say that to me, even when expressed in that girly-girl cutesy-pootsy way that is supposedly full of fond loving envy. Experience has shown me that the tone belies the words but that the words are usually closer to the truth. I had to drop one female acquaintance who noted on every occasion we met just how much she “hated” my figure, my clothes, my then-boyfriend (now-husband). This was all said with a smile, of course, but the more she said the less sincere the smile looked – it was more like she was gritting her teeth. I dropped her like a bad habit. My oft-jesting tone aside, I respect the power and meaning of words, especially extremely strong ones like “hate,” which I never direct at people. It’s just an ugly emotion and an ugly word and if you use it, you mean it, in my book.
That all said, I am trying to figure out how to get “healthy”. Because that’s what this is about. Being healthy. What that is for me may not be what it is for you. My knees are shot, my cardio needs work and yadda yadda yadda. I know people heavier than I am who are healthier than I am. So look at the big picture, okay? Being too thin is not healthy. Being too fat is not healthy. Being in the range of what is good for you given your height and other factors like diseases, etc., that’s what matters.
Well, enough for tonight. Sorry if I got too “preachy” there but the whole “hate you” thing really ticks me off, and I think the next time that person says it to me – and I guarantee you she will because this was not the first time – I will have to lay this on her.