Timing is Everything

Last night was a fiasco in here.

Punksin got upset because I wouldn’t let her have any ice cream after dinner. This was primarily because she didn’t eat any dinner. Two mouthfuls of rice and then she’s clamoring for ice cream cake. Given that she’d also had a McDonald’s Crappy Meal for lunch, I thought we had reached our junk quota for the day.

Lord, you would have thought I was burning her with cigarettes, the hollering that ensued. She cried and cried and cried and cried. And then she gave herself a headache. And then she cried some more about that. And as much as I explained to her that she was causing her own headache by crying, she would not stop. It went on and on and on for about an hour and a half.


Her dad and I were pretty much done with her by the time she went to bed. We were both pooped, and both had work to do after putting them to bed. I was pretty much a waste – just did some reading and passed out. The Hacker stayed up until some ungodly hour. Our time together was nonexistent.

So today, I take a shower. No, they still don’t happen every day unless I am determined to get in the shower at 11:00 at night or something and I gotta tell you, unless I’m menstruating or exercising or really sweating, I don’t give a shit. Mild perspiration is normal.

I get dolled up in one of one of my cheap but cutesy summer dresses.

I brush out my hair – now that it’s blown out, it’s nice and long.

I put on makeup – a little blush, some eyeliner, some mascara.

I take the kids to the park in the evening to wear their little behinds out.

I come home and I take a pork loin that I have marinated the hell out of all day and stick it in the oven. I cook Cuban rice and beans, and platanos.

The Hacker calls and says he is on the way home.

Five minutes later, he calls back.

He is going out for a drink.

With some woman.

This, after announcing this morning that he is taking a yoga class-  with some woman. A different woman.

He has been working at this fucked up company since 2002 and only recently, only now, has he all of a sudden become Mr. Hot Stuff. A yoga practitioner, looking to get her teaching certification, just has to teach my husband, and now they’re having weekly sessions. Another one invites us – yes, all of us, but I don’t think that means anything – to her house for a BBQ. He takes drawing classes – with a woman. He joins a bookclub and of course the chicks in the group are always lending him their books because they’re so. fucking. thoughtful.

And yes, I am totally like WTF? After 5 years all of a sudden you’re hanging out with women? How would it look if all of a sudden I, little housewife, started palling around with all my old male cohorts? A little odd, no? I mean, don’t get me wrong, as a woman with a majority of friends that are male, I get that in an office, friendships form. But the sudden bloom of all of this office friendship is a little off to me.

Just a little.

As my grandmother says, it’s not that I don’t trust him.

It’s that I don’t trust anybody.

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One Response to “Timing is Everything”

  1. Audrey says:

    Dear Mrs. Hot Stuff (because as soon as you took a drawing class you’d have men clustering around you, you know that of course)

    I’m sorry, but those heifers need to back the f–k off and find some single guy friends to do stuff with if they need more male companionship! Because I know your husband and I know how great a person he is (as well as fine as hell), I can understand why these women might initially be interested, but he’s MARRIED ladies, so get to stepping!

    I know there is nothing to any of it, I just hate women who cluster around married men like that.