I always said I would live life without regrets but I seem to have found enough in the past several days to make up for lost time.

The funeral was Saturday. Late, because there were several important people coming from out of town and overseas who had to make arrangements to be here.

We were all kinds of wrecks. All we kept howling was, who is going to tell us what to do?

I know, it sounds sad. No, we are not a bunch of mindless spineless people. We’re all pretty damn intelligent, actually. But we lost someone who was more than intelligent. He was touched with the sense of the divine.

Many of us had lost touch with each other, keeping track of each other’s whereabouts and doings only through Emmanuel himself. Now that he is gone, we realized we had to make the extra effort ourselves, so there was lots of exchanging of information. We want that connection now. We need it.

More later. Baby is crying and it is past midnight – time for me to sleep.

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