Punksin Saves the Day

Thank God for my kids, is all I can say.  Sometimes they give you grief – and sometimes they take the grief away.

Yesterday was a wonderful example of the latter.  We were in the car, all 3 of us, and we were late – surprise surprise – to gymnastics class.  Punksin was yammering on and on about something, and I don’t really remember what it was because I was in my own little world of grief again.  I’d had another moment of wanting to talk about something, to consult on a matter, only to realize that my “counselor” was gone.  This had happened earlier in the day, and the grief was so fresh and so strong that I wanted to hear his voice one more time.  So I called his cellphone.

And his message was gone.  My last link, my last chance to hear his voice, gone.

As I rushed out of here to grab Punksin from school and deposit her in gymnastics, I felt lost.  I went blindly and automatically through all the motions, all the hellos and how-are-yous to other moms, the exchanged kisses with Punksin when she saw me (always a delight), and then we got in the car.

I don’t know about you, but for me, there’s something about getting behind the wheel that is very conducive to thinking.  Sometimes that is good.

Sometimes it is not so good.

I peeled away from the school, with 5 minutes to get her to a class that was, actually, only 5 minutes away, but that’s without traffic.  And now here we were stuck at a light, with a little more time than I really needed to start thinking about Emmanuel again.  And then I hear a voice like a little bell:

Mommy, are we late?”

Well, a little bit,” I answered absentmindedly.

Well why are we sitting here?”

Because there’s a red light, sweetie.”  And then, “Now we have to wait for these people to cross the street before I can turn.  But I’m going to try my best to drive fast and get you there soon, okay?”

Okay.”

pause

Does that mean you’re going to drive like an idiot?”

I love her.

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