It’s 10 PM, Do You Know Where Your Cookies Are?

Okay, if anyone has been reading this with any regularity, you know that I am stuck in a rut when it comes to removing the final 6-8 pregger pounds from my frame. You know this.

More importantly, I know this.

So can anyone tell me why I am scarfing down Chips Ahoy at 9:55 at night? Please?

My only defense is that I didn’t really know, until just now, that it was so late.

Don’t worry. I’m well aware of precisely how lame that excuse is. It’s sort of like the crackhead saying he didn’t know the toddler he was selling for crack money was his own kid – not really defensible, you know?

Maybe I need to give myself a deadline to get this lard off. I looked at my butt and thighs in the mirror and let me tell you, a dimpled face is adorable but a dimpled ass? Not so cute. (Well, Pudding has a cute dimpled ass but he’s 6 months old.)

I have considered dieting but don’t really want to get too deep into that. I’m still nursing, for one. For two (no one says “for two” but I’m going to), I have never ever dieted in my life. South Beach, North Beach, Atkins, Zone, none of that crap. Definitely not the one an ex’s mother did where she only ate one thing a day, usually fruit, for several days. One day pineapple, the next day papaya, the next day corn or whatever, until she nearly passed out from the sheer fucking stupidity of it. She did lose the weight, but her mind was right behind it. And of course she gained it all back once she stopped. I can’t do that madness.

I watch what I eat now (chocolate chip cookies notwithstanding) not because of weight but because of overall health. We’ve grown more conscious of the fuel we’re putting into our bodies and the kids’ bodies, so we try to do organic foods and eat less gargantuan portions than we grew up seeing, cook with olive oil a lot, that kind of stuff. There’s still a lot more we could do, granted, but hey, it’s a work in progress.

Meanwhile, this last set of poundage is killing me. It’s just enough to prevent the majority of my pants from squeezing over my extended hips. I’ve gone from curvy to oblong.

I need to get back in the gym pronto. I froze my gym membership because I was waiting for Pudding to hit 6 months, since that’s when I can utilize the babysitting services. Then, Punksin changed schools and now the gym is in the exact opposite direction of where I’m going several times a week, so we figured we’d change gyms to the Y right across the street from her school once the first year was up.

I can still do that, but I can’t wait until then to deal with this. That’s March. I can’t wait that long. There’s too many cookies and strudels and pies between now and March. And then I’ll be busting my ass to look decent for summer.

So tomorrow I am going to unfreeze the membership and get my ass (and the rest of me) on some kind of plan. I have no idea how I am going to fit that in to my already tight schedule, but it has to work out somehow.

Wish me luck.

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